And that's how I went from being Meggin Waters, one third of three, to Meggin Waters, sulking in her room, and finally to Meggin Waters, assistant to the stars.

When I lost my sisters, I thought I lost it all. I layed down my instruments and gave up the music, but my ride wasen't as over as I'd thought. In fact, it was about to kick the speed limit.

"Fribble, Fri-bull..Fri, Fri, Fribbbble!" Zac sang, leaping onto my bed and pulling the magazine off of my face.

"I wasen't asleep, Zac." I sighed.

"Asleep or not, it's time to wake up."

I squinted one eye open to look at the clock. It was two o'clock already? It didn't feel like two o'clock. I glanced out the window and realized it was still dark.

"Zac!" I scolded, "It's two am, leave me alone!"

"Mags." he said, simply, "I'm bored. Remember the good old days when we used to be up all night partying?" he put his hands on his hips, "Meg. You're neglecting me."

I giggled, despite my desire to be angry at him for not leaving me alone. We were never up all night partying. Up all night going, 'Wouldn't it be great if we could be partying', maybe.

"Why you gotta make me laugh for?" I tried to kick him off the bed, but he wouldn't go anywhere. "Come on, I'm tired. Do you realize I've been up for three nights folding your laundry? You guys have too much clothes...Zac, I want to sleep. Let me sleeep!" I sat up and grabbed onto the front of his shirt, burying my face in his neck.

Don't get me wrong, he's like a brother to me, but damn, he smells good.

It's a very unique kind of warm blankets, Snuggles dryer sheets, rain, and night time combination.

"Hey, you smell nice." Zac said against the top of my head. He's just my pretty little mind reader, this one.

"I got an idea." he said, "Late night dip in the ocean."

We were in Malibu. One of the greatest places in the country if you like to surf. Which I don't. And to be honest, the ocean scares me shitless.

"No frickin' way." I layed back down, causing Zac to sigh in frustration.

"Are you gonna make me throw you in the ocean?" he asked, threateningly.

"You realize we're a block from the beach?" I closed my eyes, willing my pillow to swallow me.

Zac gave up, sighing heavily, and layed down next to me.

We were in a really nice suite. There was a small kitchen, two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a balcony off of the main room.

I didn't think it was fair to make the guys share a room while I had one to myself, so I volunteered to take on one of them as my room mate.

Of course they had pushed Zac at me, the messiest person in the world. No one ever wanted to share a room with Zac, I feel sorry for his future wife. Living out of a suitcase was never an issue for him. He made himself right at home where ever we were and lived off the floor.

Now, I'm no neat freak. Not like my older sister Organization Aimee, but I do require some order in my life. Afterall, I'm the assistant. I tote an over stuffed palm pilot, cellphone, and laptop in my giant denim bag everywhere we go. Not to mention the fact that I've basically emptied the Tulsa Eckerd into it.

I really don't get to be the reckloose I was ten months ago...but I still always have gum! That counts for something, right?

I know Zac's disappointed in me for not being as fun as I used to be, but they say it takes ten years to get over the death of someone close. He's got to grant me at least a little more time. I'm trying, I really am.

"Are you asleep?" Zac whispered, after a few minutes.

"No." I sighed, "I guess I'm not as tired as I thought I was." I sat up slowly. All my muscles ached. In all honesty, they'd been achy for months and months but I didn't want to admit it out loud.

Anytime I complain about anything physical, my Mom tells me I'm not drinking enough water, Mrs. Hanson tries to feed me, the guys get afraid to touch for fear of me breaking, and my father gives me money and his car keys.

Zac sprang up after me.

"Are you gonna come play with me now?" he asked, hopefully.

"Let's find a diner." I offered, "You can buy me some cheese cake."

"Deal!" Zac agreed. He grabbed my hand, ripping me out of my bed a lot faster than I was comfortable with.

We grabbed our shoes and slipped out of the suite, trying not to wake up Ike and Tay. They would have never let us go.

Once we were out of the building, I very childishly jumped on Zac's back and he grabbed my legs, hoisting me up so I could wrap my arms around his neck. I love to ride on Zac's back. And considering he's super strong and I'm down to weighing but ninety-six pounds, I don't think he minds that much either.

We tromped around like the pair of idiots that we are for about two and a half blocks until we found the diner that we would call home for the next few hours.

"Hey." Zac said, as we walked in, "If we stay here long enough, we can get breakfast as dessert."

The hostess groaned and rolled her eyes when she heard that.

I held up two fingers to her and she grabbed some menus and led us to a booth.

"Bitch." I muttered, once she walked away. Zac snorted at me.

Yes, we're all very polite until you turn your back.

"What are you getting?" Zac asked, looking at his menu.

"Hmm...." I scanned my own menu, "Rice pudding?...no, too gooey....Oh!..no, not that either..."

"I thought you wanted cheese cake." Zac grinned at me.

I always said I wanted cheese cake, we don't why. I honestly don't like it that much.

I scowled at him and he giggled. A guy as big and strong as Zac giggling is always a sight to behold.

"You're a really crazy little girl, you know that?" he asked, patting the top of my head.

"Of course I do, you tell me every freaking day."

Zac gave me a look. I guess I sounded a little more bitter than I had intended. I shouldn't have agreed to get up, I really did need to get some sleep. And, in all honesty, so did he. Sure, he appeared to have energy now, but I would be to blame when he walked into that photo shoot tomorrow with puffy, tired eyes. The last thing I need these days is High-and-Mighty tour manager Dave glaring and explaining to me "for the last time, young lady", in the tone of voice he used on me when I was a wild ten year old who couldn't stop running up and down the halls of the hotels, that I either need to take responsibilities or go home.

No, what I really needed was my big, fluffy white bed, back in our Brownstone in Hoboken, New Jersey. But that's not home anymore. Home is on the road, following my boys, whom I both love and hate at the same time, and being trampled by all sorts of people who need their pictures, their autographs, their signed away youth.

I wish I were dead.

If I ever said that out loud, there'd be an uproar. I'm not the kind of person people like to leave alone. But it's the truth just the same. I really do.

Everyday, I think back to standing ontop of that sky scraper in North Carolina, and I wonder why I didn't jump when I had the chance. I should never have agreed to play assistant. I should have been asleep somewhere.

"Meg?" Zac broke me out of my thoughts. He sounded a little worried and more than slightly confused. "You okay, Fribble?"

"I'm fine." I sniffed. Oh God, don't cry, you wuss! I couldn't believe I was crying right now. And the anger over crying just made me cry harder.

Zac got up and slid into the booth next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned heavily against him.

I couldn't keep back tears now. And all I could think was how stupid it was for me to be crying. Of course, Zac's silent way of simply letting me cry did nothing to put up the flood gates.

"Do you wanna just go back?" he asked, softly.

I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I sniffed.

"Nothing to be sorry about. You warned me you were tired."

The hostess gave us another look as we left. I ducked my head appoligetically, but Zac just ignored her, rubbing my back gently.

"Come on." he whispered in my ear, as we walked outside, "Want another ride?"

I shook my head.

"Want a hug?" he stretched his arms out and jutted out his lower lip, making puppy dog eyes at me.

An extremely unwanted smile spread across my face.

"Of course." I moved into his embrace and he squeezed me way too hard.

"Zac." I moaned, "Lemme go, that hurts."

"Only if you moan out my name like that again."

"Zaaaaccccc..." I cried in my most heated, passionate voice.

He let go of me and grinned.

"This is what I love about you, Fribble. Anyone else would have just slapped me."

"I was afraid you'd hit me back."

With that, Zac threw his arm over my shoulders. You never feel as safe as you do when Zac's got his arms around you.

"I might have...who knows?"

We were just outside the hotel now and had stopped walking.

"Once we go inside, we have to be quiet." I told him.

He thought for a second.

"Wanna swim in the pool?"

"The pool is most deffinately closed."

"I bet we could convince them to open it for us." he elbowed me, "You could flirt with the manager."

I laughed.

That would never have worked. My eyes were red, probably with makeup running off them, my hair was a limp mess, and I was in cotton pajama pants and a tank top. And even at my best, I'm not all that good looking. This is all beside the fact that I never mastered the art of flirting.

"I don't think so." I said, "Lets just go upstairs and sleep. We have to get up in four and a half hours."

Zac groaned but followed me inside anyway.